Trump, well he grew up in Queens, but he has the manners and
mentality of a Russian oligarch — but not the taste, assuming any. Yes he has
his dacha in Mar-a-Lago but I can't imagine Yevgeny Prigozhin, for example,
Putin's "cook," stooping to shtup and (possibly overdose) on Whoppers
and Big Macs.
No, a genuine member of Russian's new nomenklatura would
enjoy something like Sevruga Classic Grey Caviar, listed as $17,297.18
per 64 oz tin, or, better yet, Almas caviar, produced from the eggs "of a
rare albino sturgeon between 60-100 years old, which swims in the southern
Caspian Sea where there is apparently less pollution."
Fascinating. Mythical. Astoundingly delicious.
To plotz for.
There are parts of Brooklyn, heavily settled by Russian
immigrants as you would expect, where super caviar is kept under surveillance —
food for the Tsars and a nice nosh for their descandant, Putin. Not that Trump
would know from or appreciate it. Like I said, he's from Queens: Whoppers and
milk shakes for him.
When Trump formally applies for refuge in Moscow, sooner
rather than later, he would have to be re-educated.
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