Friday, July 3, 2015

It Takes A Minyan

I was too soft on Look Who’s Back, not intemperate enough. Weird huh, it being me? You keep reading because who is this guy, this Hitler? And then you realize it's all a fucking tease, and hardly funny enough to be justified.

But it could be the beginning of a series.

First Hitler wakes up. Then elsewhere in Deutschland, Himmler, then Goering, Cowbells (excuse me, Goebbels), Eva Braun, Riefenstahl, Eichmann etc., that whole crew.

They land like paratroopers, parachuting in from the past.

They move stiffly at first like the undead but they're alive all right, and when they convene in a Nazi coven they're scary.

They have the power to summon that monster, the Volk, to awaken it from its slumbers.

Takes a while to figure out the only thing that can stop them.

Not garlic. They're German. You show them garlic, they reach for mustard and cabbage. Yum.

Not even country music, though country music is worth trying on the grounds that it has caused many a nasty flying saucer to crash (see Mars Attack, starring Jack Nicholson).

Definitely *not* Christian crosses. They *love* Christian crosses, especially garlic and mustard. A Christian cross for them is a delicious pretzel. They want more.

No.

Only being faced with Jewish stars makes them dissolve into dog poo, vomitus etc.

But a solo Mogen Dovid is, as many a brave Jew, discovers, insufficient.

Turns out it takes at least ten. . .

Deutschland flies in Jews from all over, luxury class, klezmer und  kashrut supplied, though most of the incoming forgo kashrut, thanks.

And the name of this bomb is, of course,

It Takes A Minyan. . .

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