Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Starting at 2:30 pm today. . .

Getting Back

Starting at about 2:30 pm today it took me an hour to drive from Whole Foods Fresh Pond back to my apartment a block off Mass. Ave on Rindge, and I had to break a few laws to do it.

Police had blocked off the turn from Mass Ave to Rindge. City workers were laying black top — or something. (In Yiddish, this is technically known as oysgevarfeneh gelt — literally "thrown away money." Watch, it will happen all summer long, even where it happened last year, hence the oysgevarfeneh).

All the alternate routes were marked DETOUR as well. The one route that seemed to offer hope was completely screwed by a detoured 83 bus that went back and forth like a stuck pig but could not manage its narrow side street right angle turn. (Unless, that is, the driver smashed the legally parked black SUV out of its way, as I have bus drivers do in wintry situations.)

Some public spirited local directed drivers to make an illegal left wrong way down a one way. That brought me at last back to Rindge, but then there was the DETOUR again barring the last block. So I cruised through the driveway of the O’Neil Library — yelled at for so doing — then ignored a final DETOUR, drove that last block back, parked. Guess what: I didn't take my car out again today, as I'd planned to, before my traffic adventure.

What a mess. Glad I wasn't overcome by the need to crap, pee or give birth.

What a lot of oysgevarfeneh gelt.

And then, where were the cops who might have shown up and managed the situation? Oysgevarfeneh completely.

I reflected that had it been Brooklyn, my hometown, some guy, possibly even a close relative, would for sure after a lot of furious banging on his horn, as part of a general honk pandemonium, have emerged with at least a tire iron and perhaps a gun, to what avail the next day's NY Post would have informed you.

I honked a little — someone had to, how passive and patient are we supposed to be in Boston based oysgevarfeneh situations — but appreciated the event obeyed Cambridge rather than Brooklyn standards.

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