Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Lech l'Azazel, Bibbi . . .

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So next time Bibbi calls me — he cold calls from time to time to say, so what's doing in Galut, Tzvi (my Hebrew name, which means deer as in "the deer and  the antelope play")? — here's what I say: yes: Hamas is terrible, yes those tunnels are built for nefarious purposes and nefarious purposes only, yes it would be good if the IDF got to rip out every last one of them up and send them back to Jesus — hey, that's just an expression, OK —  BUT you can't inflict civilian casualties on Gaza like you are now. No, sorry Beebs, you really can't blow up schools, market places and UN shelters . . . You didn't know that? Nobody told you?

Beebs, people 'round here don't actually believe Hamas is blowing itself up every chance it gets just to blame it you, Beebs. That just don't fly. 

How do you say "lead balloon" in Hebrew?

Oh, that annoys you, huh? Well, remember you called me. And while I'm on your shekel, let me add you're not making it easier on us out here. Perhaps you've heard of anti-Semitism? The thing Zionism was going to put an end to? Well there's gonna be more of it, anti-Semitism inside anti-Zionism inside anti-Semitism inside anti-Zionism etc. and so on like Russian dolls.

What? So I should move to Eretz Yisroel? Sorry, I can't afford Tel Aviv, which sounds pretty groovy, and as for moving to the West Bank —

— Judea and Samaria. . .

—Judea and Samaria to you, Beebaleh but West Bank to me.

Let me put it this way: LECH L'AZAZEL to the whole idea of settlements on the West Bank!

(Lech l'Azazel is pretty good Hebrew for "Send it back to Jesus", except Azazel is a big demon. Same thing right?)

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